Aftermath
by sarabeth1
Summary: He wanted to yell. He wanted to curse. He wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go. **ONE SHOT - Part of the Ressler Prompt Series (Pt 3)** Ressler and Liz reunion after her apparent death, set after 3.23


_Ressler Prompt # 3 – Reunion after Liz's apparent death. Angst or fluff._

 _Enjoy :)_

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 **Aftermath – Ressler Prompt #3**

The silence was killing him. Usually, Donald Ressler welcomed it. But, tonight…no, tonight he had a million questions. He a million things he wanted to say. He wanted to yell. He wanted to curse. He wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go. He wanted to tell her how relieved he was the see her alive and well. And, he wanted to reassure her that everything would be fine. But, he couldn't do any of those things. Words refused to form or leave his mouth. And she just sat there. Picking at her nails.

"Just say whatever it is you have to say," Elizabeth Keen barked.

"Reddington will find her," Ressler said from his seat.

Reddington and Tom Keen. Surprisingly, Red found Liz rather quickly. And from what he was told Liz was pretty bad ass and most likely broke Alexander Kirk's nose. But, while she managed to escape Kirk and leave with Red and Dembe, she was unable to convince Reddington to allow her on his mission to find her daughter Agnes. And that was why Ressler got a call to meet at an abandoned airplane hangar. He found Liz alone on an old airplane seat and when she looked up to see him he knew that he was the last person she expected to see there. And for his part all Ressler could do was stare. Then sit down across from her.

"I know he will," Liz said softly. "What orders did he give you for me? Are we waiting here? Are we going to the post office? Ress, what's the plan?"

"You're alive. You are really alive." The reality of it was finally hitting him. The woman he cried over, the woman he said a final goodbye to, was here in front of him.

"I'm sorry." She refused to look him in the eye. "We didn't have time to make any other choice for our family. And I'm sorry you were hurt. I really am."

"No, you aren't. You aren't sorry at all. After what we all went through for you. Every single one of us. The risks. The rules people broke for you. And you put them through this? I get you were trying to get away from Reddington. To protect your child. I understand that. But, to let us grieve for you? And for Tom to try to weasel his way in to people's lives and let us close to her? Then just take her away? No, Liz. You could have told us."

And now the words were flowing and wouldn't stop. The image of Reddington's devastated face as he opened the van door. Lifeless Liz on that stretcher. Samar. Samar who was always so calm and composed, holding on to him so tightly and the pain he heard in her cries. Aram speaking at Liz's gravesite. Cooper's eulogy. All of this came to his mind and he couldn't hold it in. This wasn't the best time either. She was terrified for her daughter and rightfully so.

"Don't you dare! You have NO idea what it was like. What it is like. But, Agnes will always come first. Always." Liz was now standing up with her arms across her chest. "And you are trying to pick a fight with me now? When she is God knows where? What the hell, Ress?"

"Maybe now isn't the best time for this conversation. But, I'm not sorry I said what I did." He set his jaw. "Look, Reddington wants us to wait here for now. And if he doesn't call in the next few hours I'm supposed to take you to a safe house nearby. He's worried someone will recognize you and then he'll have even more to worry about."

"I can't believe of all people he sent you. He couldn't send Samar? Someone who wouldn't be this furious with me." Liz dropped down in her seat.

Ressler rolled his eyes. He really thought that they worked some things out that night at the courthouse. He knew they weren't back to what they were but it was getting better. But, this. He wasn't sure how they were going to come back from this. From the pain and betrayal. And deep down, for him the knowledge that she really did love Tom Keen. A man who in Ressler's eyes would never be good enough. That there was no amount of redemption for him that could make him good enough for Liz.

"Can you tell me what happened? Tom came to Cuba because Red was supposed to have killed Kirk. What happened?"

"He never showed. Red got word that Tom slipped his protective detail and fled. He called me when Kaplan told him you were alive." Ressler then realized the betrayal that Red's own person played on him and wondered her fate. "She took a great risk to help you behind his back. I hope she doesn't, or hasn't, paid dearly for it."

Liz lowered her head. "She's fine. Dembe told me she found Tom." She took a deep breath. "Kirk is still out there, Ress. I didn't get to fully find out why he took me. Other than the fact he claims to be my father."

"Reddington told me. Do you believe him?"

"I've learned to never believe anything. All I know is he said he wasn't trying to hurt me and all Reddington would do was bring me pain and death. But, he has my daughter and told me she'd be better off without us. What if we never find her?" Liz looked up finally. Her eyes full of tears.

"We won't rest until we find her. That I promise you. You will get to see her again." Ressler pulled out his wallet. "You tell anyone and I'll deny it, but here."

He handed Liz a small picture of Agnes. Aram had printed everyone pictures of her not long after she was born and something in him compelled him to put it in his wallet. A reminder of his friend who was gone but a piece of her lived on.

"You softy," Liz laughed as she held on to the picture. "I know you won't believe me but Tom said he really hated lying to all of you. That you had become a kind of family to him."

"Liz," Ressler warned. "He's not a topic we want to discuss if you want civility."

" Is there a safe topic?"

"Agnes." Ressler looked at her seriously. Because right now any other subject could possibly result in him saying something he may regret later.

"Do you really think we'll find her?"

"Reddington found you and Tom, didn't he?" Ressler was trying to be optimistic but he had a feeling they were found so easily on purpose and Agnes may not be as easy. She was the perfect bargaining chip to get Liz and Reddington to do whatever Kirk needed or wanted.

"If Kirk is my father, then who is Reddington to me? Why is so interested in me?" Liz still held on to the picture of Agnes but was now staring at Ressler intently. "I mean yeah, he's told me before he wasn't my father, but it was the only explanation for why he was so invested."

"Maybe he had an affair with your mother? Who knows with Reddington. And who knows if Kirk is who he says he is."

And then there was silence. He still had so much he wanted to say to her. There was so much they hadn't talked about before she faked her death. But, he knew now wasn't the best time. So, he had the conversation with himself in his head. He wasn't sure how much time had passed until he heard his phone ring.

"Ressler," he answered. It was Reddington.

IIIIIIII

"Shouldn't one of us go in and see if she needs anything?"

Ressler looked over at Samar. They were seated outside of a hotel room Reddington had sent them to. Liz was inside. He wanted to be in there with her but assumed she'd want to be alone. "If she wants one of us she'll come ask for us."

"So, Tom and Red are still working together?"

"From what Reddington said, yes. They are looking for Kirk to ensure Liz and Agnes will be safe. It's our job to protect them on this end."

He was still reeling from the fact that just moments ago Dembe arrived with baby Agnes. She was placed in her mother's arms and the two of them were left alone in the hotel room. Red had men in the rooms on either side and across the hall along with Ressler and Samar guarding the door. Dembe had one job. To deliver Agnes. He left without a word to Ressler.

"Ress, can we talk?" Liz asked from the now open door hours later.

"Yeah, sure." Ressler stood up and followed her in to the room. "How's Agnes?"

"Sleeping," Liz answered and pointed to a door the led the bedroom of her suite. "I think the sooner we air everything out the better. I have my daughter back. She's safe for now. So, you and I, we need to talk. I'm ready to talk."

Maybe I'm not ready, he wanted to say. But, instead he took a deep breath. "Do you really want to get in to this now? I already told you how I felt."

"Then let me tell you how I feel." Liz dropped down in her seat. "Ever since Reddington entered my life, it has been one wreck after another. Do you know the one constant, the one thing I could always rely on? You. I knew you would always be you. You never lied to me. You were always straight with me. It kills me to know I hurt you. That I betrayed you. But, please understand. I had Agnes. She was more important than anything."

"If I was your one constant, why do you turn to him every time?" Ressler asked with a bit of venom in his voice.

"He was comfortable. He was familiar. Then we got pregnant," Liz spoke softly. "But, this is about you and me."

"I am so angry at you. Do you understand that?" Ressler finally took a seat across from Liz. His voice was soft despite the words. "You put us through hell. I saw you. I thought you were gone. I watched Red collapse in grief. And I was willing to compromise my morals and allow Reddington to kill Kirk to get vengeance for you. I wanted him dead. And a part of me, the part that wasn't relieved, was angry he wasn't the man to step out of that car. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say." Liz stood up and moved to sit next to him.

Ressler knew she was sorry. And he understood why she took the drastic steps she did. It didn't take his anger away or make him feel any less betrayed. But, it was unfair of him not to try and forgive her. It didn't mean he had to right away or that they had to be best of friends. He felt her hand on his and looked down. When he looked back up at her he saw the tears in her eyes. Without thinking he wiped them away with his free hand.

"I don't want to say I'd change anything. If I did, I wouldn't have Agnes. But, I wish I could go back and listen to you. Back in that hallway. I wish I had put my trust in you." She grabbed his hand that was on her face. "My life wouldn't be this shit show it is now. And you wouldn't look at me like I stabbed a knife in your heart."

Ressler lowered his hand so that both his and hers were in Liz's lap. He often wondered how things would have turned out if she didn't run. If she had fought the bombing charge. Would he have been able to help her like he claimed? Or was running truly the best for her, despite the murder she later committed. It did no one any good trying to speculate. It happened and there was no going back.

"Who is to say I could have protected you like I claimed. I didn't know the depths of the corruption. Let's just look forward, ok Keen? Focus on now and getting your life back so you can enjoy being a mom."

"I can get on board with that. So long as I have my friends by my side still?"

Ressler patted her hands. "I can't speak for the others but I'm willing to try." He stood up. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'm just going to go back out in the hall. You know where I'll be if you need anything."

"Thank you, Ress. I really mean it." Liz stood up and walked him to the door. "I would rather you and Samar be more comfortable and come in here, but…," she trailed off.

"Reddington's orders were to watch the door." Ressler smiled as he finished her sentence. "We will be fine. Come get us if you need anything." He opened the door to see Samar staring down the hallway. "I'm glad you are alive, Liz. Now, get some sleep."

Liz smiled then leaned in and gave him a hug. When she pulled away she said a short good night to Samar then retreated back in to the room. Ressler took his seat next to Samar and continued his watch. They hadn't exactly worked out everything but it was a start. And the most important thing was that tonight Liz and Agnes were safe and together. Samar gave him a knowing smirk to which he responded with an eye roll. Liz and Agnes were safe. That's all that mattered for now.


End file.
